A long time ago, Bill W. confessed to a group of people, "I am an alcoholic." He said that small statement changed his life - made him admit his challenges, his reality. So today, I say to you, I am a substitute teacher. Holy moly. I was a teacher and school administrator for just shy of 30 years. I worked in education serving organizations for another 15 years. Greatest (more likely least great) last words uttered by me. "When I retire, I sure won't sub." Well, guess what? I am subbing and for the most part loving it. I'll write more in subsequent posts about the "loving it" and "for the most part" references.
My dream job went to part time before I was ready for that to happen. My employers were/are great friends, problem solvers, interesting people. One of my projects went away. No one's fault - time moves on. Things change. I panicked a bit - I hadn't planned on taking social security until I was 70 and wanted to have enough income to wait it out, And I couldn't imagine not working full time and not seeing these wonderful friends regularly. I couldn't even imagine not driving to Des Moines every day - I'd learned to love the commute what with podcasts, NPR, and lately MSNBC. Yes, I'm a liberal - what teacher isn't? What on earth would I do? But after some teeth gnashing and tears, I determined with my part time job, subbing, and a supportive husband still working at 70, I could probably make the financial part work and I'd try to fill the time with noble endeavors. So it was all solved, and it is working. Not always like I thought it would, but it is working.
So subbing. How's it going? I've been at for a couple of years now and it is always surprising. Two weeks ago, I didn't sub at all. Had a great time - drank coffee with my friends, took a trip to Des Moines, spent some time with my grandchildren, read, binged watched a couple of good things on Netflix, and got a lot of work done for my part time job. Not exactly the "noble endeavors" I had imagined, but what the hey? It was an all around wonderful week. I gotta say, though, I had this silly yearning to see kids and be uplifted. Last week I subbed four days at the local elementary. That was the busiest week I've had all year. By Friday I could barely sit up and take nourishment. No silly yearning by Friday. Just plain flat out exhaustion. And a sense of incompetence - all the planning had been done for me. Can't imagine what it would've been like if I'd been responsible for putting together exceptional lessons that drew in all learners and moved them forward, as well as being fully alert to the needs of kids all day and teaching my rear end off. Somewhere between four days and zero days, surely there is a happy medium.
A few things I've learned in these two years - some new learning, some affirmation of what I already knew. Teachers work really hard and somehow, most of them, maintain their good humor. Kids come to school with far more problems than when I was a teacher. As the social fabric of Iowa falls apart with no mental health system for children and a poor excuse of one for adults, schools are profoundly affected. Schools are resource short. That shows up in all kinds of ways - building maintenance, text books, certainly salaries,, etc. For the most part communities look to their schools as the driving force. And if they don't, they should.
So in conclusion, I am a substitute, something I thought I would never be. And I love it! Life changes hit you like a ton of bricks and if you take a breath, everything will be okay. Schools have big problems brought on by changes in the social fabric of Iowa, and communities need to work to solve them. I look forward to sharing my thoughts in the weeks to come and hope you will weigh in as well.
More later....
